"SO, how was your day?" "good"

had a strange day.
watched an episode of gossip girl which made me feel extremely complacent about love and relationships and things. it was one of the 'usual' ones full of everyone having sex and kissing and being all happy just to emphasise how single everyone watching is.
it was actually a good episode though.
i did enjoy it.
but it made me a tad sad.
and now i'm watching one born every minute.
yes, the maternal show about giving birth.
its the one where they show the mothers who've had permature/diabled babies.
not that they're in the same category, cos premature is so not disabled, but still.
i didnt make the show.
i wouldnt be happy though, to be all premature and find out that they're calling me disabled, would be a tad pissed off.
not that theres a problem with disabled children.
in some sense.
still, im watching it.
and its WEIRD why when your in a depressive mood do you make yourself worse with james blunt (who is for some reason famously known for singing sad songs, when they're NOT, they're just shit), and sad films, and thinking about him/her and how he/she would look with you as your facebook profile picture.
it makes things worse, but slightly better.
and if this baby dies, it might tip me over the edge.
and this is the girl who one 'happiest girl' in the yearbook.
<3 <3